you now that feeling when it feels like your entire body is going to explode into the neverending universe because you’r so full of the bullshit someone just threw in your pretty ears and it starts to fill you up and you can physically feel the anger bowling in your throat and at this point you just want to take the closest person near you and squeeze the living shit out of them and even losing your fork makes you want to stab it in someones chest before you break down on the floor like a helpless seal
Sometimes I just feel so lonely, even though I’m sorrounded by friends and family. In the middle of a conversation - or even a laugh, I find mysel being interouptet by this emotion. I feel a overwelming sadness, my stomache hurts, and for some minuttes I swear it feels like I’m suffering from a mix of a huge loss, grief or longing for someone, or something. Ever since I was little I’ve struggled explaining how it feels like. I’ve always thought that if I went home to see my mom, went to my boyfriend’s house or maby or met my best friends it would disapear. But it doesn’t.
As I have grown older I’ve found the closest I can call an explanation. I feel homesick for something, or someone, I don’t even know excist. I don’t think I will ever understand what, or why, or who. Maybe I just need to learn to live with it.
When I was five years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.
― John Lennon (via vans-supreme)
